What’s good about being single when it comes to money? I’m not accountable to anyone for anything I buy.
What’s bad about being single when it comes to money? I’m not accountable to anyone for anything I buy.
Yeah – it’s a Catch-22 situation for this Free Spirit.
At last night’s class – the second of thirteen – we watched a DVD of Dave Ramsey talking about the different ways men and women, couples, and singles approach the act of spending.
Dave explained about the two types of spenders. There are Nerds, and there Free Spirits. He gave lots of scenarios to define a nerd and a free spirit and we all laughed from time to time because we saw ourselves so accurately portrayed.
Basically, a nerd has a financial stick up his butt. He has a rigid idea of money and spending, likes lists, makes decisions quickly and sticks to them. The free spirit is like Scarlett O’Hara: ‘I’ll think about that tomorrow” attitude, impulsive, and has no budgeting skills. Mind you, these are my generalizations from Dave Ramsey’s much more detailed explanations.
Dave used as an illustration of nerds and free spirits a couple who had attended the first FPU session. As I had mentioned in a previous entry, there’s a homework assignment to do a ‘quickie budget.’ Dave said before they ever reached their car in the front row spot of the parking lot the nerd already had the budget half done in his head. Then they get home and the nerd jots it all down on the form and hands it to the free spirit as a done deal, talking all the while about how perfect the budget is. The free spirit says things like ‘Fine. Whatever. You’re the expert, not me.”
We all laughed when Dave told the audience, “Nerds, you gotta shut up. Just shut up. Once you explain your point, shut up. Free spirits, show up! You gotta show up to the meeting.”
For me, that summed up my previous financial circumstances. My ex was the nerd and I became the free spirit in self defense. It was much easier to just agree with him so he’d shut up. Then I’d simply go do whatever I wanted. Shameful, I know, but it’s what I did.
When it comes to financial decision making, “the nerd likes doing the budget because it gives them control, and they feel like they are taking care of loved ones. The free spirit feels controlled, not cared for, and can appear irresponsible to the nerd.” Financial Peace University
Bingo. It comes down to how we communicate about money. Through this course, I know that when I decide to invite someone into my life, I’ll know how to talk about money with him.
However, since I have no one in my life at the moment, I have to find an ‘accountability partner.’ I’m now very much aware of when I am in danger of slipping back into free spirit mode when it comes to money. It still happens far too often for my liking but I know it will change as my attitude changes. “I did not get into financial stress quickly, and I will most likely walk out of it slowly.” Financial Peace University
I had said earlier that there was a lot of laughter at the nerd/free spirit scenarios. What I didn't mention was the undercurrent of "OMG, is that really me?", followed by "OMG, that really is me!" I came away from the session with a new awareness and appreciation of how the other side (the Nerds) think. However, I think my biggest take-away from last night's class is self-awareness, And with that awareness comes a sense of self-control.
I never realized how good it would feel to be in control of myself. So this 'free spirit' is going to dabble in the dark side LOL and empower my 'nerd' self. Nerd, meet Free Spirit. Free Spirit, meet Nerd. What a lovely couple you make!
Until next time....
Money is neither my god nor my devil. It is a form of energy that tends to make us more of who we already are, whether it's greedy or loving. ~ Dan Millman
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